Wednesday, July 9, 2008 ♥
Ok, i'm RANTING and SCOLDING ppl NOW . Pls Go away if u don't wanna see.
First you accuse me, saying that my desire to sleep is an excuse to not talk to you.
Then you say i dont understand your feelings.
Like you understand mine.
I feel super horrible.
Its not only YOU i dont talk to.
I dont talk to several others as well.
Please k, im not avoiding you.
You are just as bad as $##, which probably you would deny not to be.
Like for instance, not giving me an opportunity to explain myself before accusing me blindly.
Although in $#%#$%#$ case, he didnt accuse me, but he just hung up on me due to his important matters with his friends.
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Im sorry if you want to end this friendship.
I dont know if you want to, but if you find having me as a friend is totally unacceptable, then fine.
I may be wrong in saying that, but you just kept shooting questions at me and making me uncomfortable to answer them.
How am i supposed to give you a detailed explanation?
Well, you probably wont care anyway.
Sorry for everything you think of me, and the bad impression i've shown to you.
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And you know. I dont know what im doing now.
But i just want to rant and let go of my troubles.
The hating troubles,I didnt reject you because i liked someone else, which is obviously fake.I rejected you 'cause i dont trust you.Like seriously. I was naive in the past, thinking that when people you used to crush on like you back, everything would go PERFECTLY like a fairytale. But duh, it wasnt. Because i didnt see the hurting side of you. Because first you told me your heart for me is wavering and you were thinking if you love me, just after when i came back from Malaysia. And i thought i would come back happy, and not see all the painful things which i knew i saw. And after you told me that, you asked me to call Elaine. Elaine ain't my relationship counsellor. And even if I called, i would just hear you and her chatting happily, leaving me to wallow in my grief. So yeah, i lied to YOU, that my gran wanted to use the phone. So after hanging up, i did some soul-searching. And the results were that maybe you weren't that much of a good girlfriend after all. Seriously. So in that past, when i told you I was fine, i was wanting to say that to this extent, i dont know anymore if you see me as a real person that you care for, or a fling to get rid of your troubles. And you wanted me to tell me all my problems. I DIDNT DISTANCE MYSELF AWAY, YOU ASS. ITS JUST EVERYTIME I TRY, YOU HANG UP ON ME, LIKE FOR YOUR FRIENDS, GANS, OR WHATEVER. Well, i guess my previous suspicion was right; seeing that later on, you just left me standing there alone. Before breaking up with me, saying you needed space, and wanted to be single.And somehow, i dont know if that was true.Which to me, it seemed like a lie.And after you broke, you come running back to me and asking me for another chance.And saying that well, you regretted breaking with me since Single Day 1 and only had the courage to patch TODAY.Which up til now, i blame myself for not putting a clean break. Because though i talk to you like i talked to you before, it was horrible to know that you are just a lie.Or rather, your love is just a lie.Whats wrong with me.
